As I near the 100-day countdown to my Camino (right now, my projected start date is June 26th), my mind fills with fears. I still have a lot of time time prepare, but also time to think about what could go wrong, what I might not be ready for, the unexpected, etc.
But is it really fear? Am I actually afraid, or am I just worried?
I’m going with just worried. I’ve already written a post about fear, and that was all about the big stuff (mostly, how to change).
What’s on my mind now are the worries, and I have a lot of them. I think (hope) that most will vanish once I start my Camino, but until then, I have a feeling they will be nagging at me.
In no particular order, here are the things that are worrying me:
1. I’m going to get huge, painful blisters on my feet.
2. I’m going to get injured on my walk (and/or sick) and not be able to finish.
3. I’m going to be too shy to make strong connections with other Pilgrims.
5. Wild dogs.
6. Staying in refugios/albergues (basically, hostels) with dozens of other people.
7. Snoring pilgrims and not being able to fall asleep.
8. Wishing that I could stay put for a few days and not constantly be on the move.
9. Being in the middle of my Camino and wanting to come home.
10. Ending my Camino and not wanting to come home.
11. Not knowing how to speak Spanish.
12. The possibility of having to pee in the woods.
13. Hiking over the Pyrenees.
14. Walking all day in the rain.
15. Losing my way.
That’s a big list. But on the other hand, I’ve got some stuff that I’m not too worried about at all. Here are some things that I’m confident about/excited for:
1. Navigating my way down to St. Jean-Pied-de-Port (and being able to speak French!).
2. Enjoying the food/having enough to eat.
3. Being friendly to everyone I see and saying ‘Buen Camino!’
4. Walking for hours every day (there’s a tiny bit of worry with this, but not much. I think I’m going to love it).
5. Getting to walk to a new place every day, not getting bored.
6. Having a lot of time to think/be alone with my thoughts.
7. Experiencing a different country/culture.
8. Wearing the same clothes every day/simplifying my life.
9. Not making plans and not knowing where I’ll be sleeping day-to-day.
10. Walking in the summer (maybe I should be worried about this one, but I love the heat of summer. Check back with me sometime in the middle of July and I might be singing a different tune, but for now I’m excited for this).
11. Writing about my Camino every day, having something to say.
12. Knowing that regardless of how far I walk, I pushed myself to go on an adventure and a journey.