I’d just started typing a post- I had a couple paragraphs written- but my fingers must have been moving a little too fast because they hit a couple of keys at the same time and the post disappeared. I can only think that it’s been too long since I’ve blogged and I’m out of practice.
So, let me start again. I had just been thinking that two years ago, around this time, I was about a month away from my first Camino. I can remember those days so clearly: the training hikes, the trips to REI, the packages from Amazon. I can also remember the feeling of those days, the nervousness of what I was taking on, the quiet thrill of pushing myself and learning something new. I had no idea what I was doing, and yet, with each day, I felt like I was getting closer to something. As the weeks progressed, I added miles to my hikes, and weight to my pack. I settled into a pair of shoes that comfortably fit my feet, and I finally bought the right kind of socks. I remember how I would snap a bar of dark chocolate in half, and tuck the pieces into the outer pocket of my pack so that I could enjoy them after my hike. And when my walk was done, that chocolate was maybe the best thing that I had ever tasted.
Wasn’t I just doing this? How could it be two years ago that I was about to embark on my first Camino?
Time is flying. My days are just speeding by, and I’m constantly thinking that I don’t have enough time for all that I want to do. I blame most of this on the book that I’m trying to write, but it’s also more than that. Two years since the first Camino. Two years! The time rushes past whether there’s book writing or not, and I have a fear that the days are only going to keep moving, faster and faster.
Two years ago I was blogging a lot; in the month before my first Camino, I had a lot to say. But now? My next trip is just over 6 weeks away, and I think that so much of the writing I want to do is going to happen when I arrive in Europe.
Because what can I say that I haven’t already said before? I bought new shoes, I’m squeezing in training hikes when I can, several of my friends are on a Camino as we speak and I’m following their journeys with envy. Otherwise, time just marches on, the days here have been cloudy and wet, I’m wondering if this cool, damp spring is just going to slip into summer without me even noticing.
But today we finally got some sunshine: a full day of perfect blue sky and beautiful light, and I drove straight from work to my park and went on a solid, 7-mile hike. And something about the day reminded me of the days before my first Camino, when I just settled into those hikes and dreamed about what my summer might be like.
I daydreamed on this hike, today. I thought about all of my summer plans, how I’m attempting to do everything that I want to do, how I’m combining all of the things that I’ve grown to love in these last few years: travel and walking and writing and connection. I thought a lot about the future, too, how I wish that I could live all of my days enjoying these very things- the travel and walking and writing and connection. Maybe someday I can, maybe right now I already do, in whatever small or large ways I can manage.
I feel calm, thinking about my summer, which is a very different feeling than two years ago, different from even a year ago, when I wasn’t sure if walking a second Camino was the right thing to do. But now I just feel calm, like I’ve gotten myself on a good path and that I’m headed in the direction that I want to be moving in.
And that’s it for now, I think. I have a few ideas for blog posts- well, actually, I have tons of ideas but I’m just not finding the right kind of time- but in any case, I plan to check back in a few more times before I leave for my trip at the end of June. And then, with any luck, I’ll be writing a ton, and man, I just can’t wait. I can’t wait to see new places, to do more walking, to finish up a rough draft of my book, to meet new friends and make more beautiful connections.
But for now, here are my shoes, all of my Camino shoes. It’s time to break the new pair in!